Who Am I?

20130517_DIANE_ATWOODMy name is Diane Atwood.

I’m a fine arts major at USM in Portland, Maine.

When you’re 65 tuition is free.

I’m 65.

No way I could pass up the opportunity.

BIOGRAPHICAL STATEMENT

When my two daughters, who are now in their twenties, were growing up, I always tried to nurture a love of art. Both showed talent at a young age, which I had always assumed came from their father because he can draw beautifully. I signed them up for art classes, art camps, art workshops — you name it. One ended up with a minor in art from Colby College and the other majored in communication design at Parsons in NYC.

One day about 10 years ago, when they were well past the age of my signing them up for anything, MECA’s Continuing Studies brochure arrived in the mail. As I had done for so many years before, I immediately flipped through the pages. This time, however, it was an adult class that grabbed my attention — Painting for the True Blue Beginner. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so on a whim I signed up for the class, and it was there that I had my epiphany.

One of our assignments was to copy a painting done by one of the masters. I chose a figure of a man painted by Paul Cezanne. I tried my best to copy it, but I didn’t know how to measure properly or determine any proportions. I was also completely lost as to how to mix the right colors. None of that seemed to matter though. I simply slipped into a zone I had no idea even existed. The pivotal moment came when I made a mark on the man’s pants. When I stepped back as the teacher had suggested we do, I was completely blown away to see that my one small gesture resembled a wrinkle in the pants! I hadn’t even thought, ‘I must make a wrinkle.’ I just copied the shape and there it was. I can’t begin to describe the joy and excitement I felt over what I had created.

After that night, I continued to push myself, taking drawing and oil painting classes and attending a few workshops, including one on the streets of Manhattan, was a totally intimidating and exhilarating experience.

A few years ago I began to daydream about quitting my job and going to art school, but it was an unrealistic yearning. I now work as a freelance writer and blogger and have a bit more flexibility with my schedule, but often find myself working at my computer instead of at my easel.

A friend who works at USM suggested that instead of taking classes here and there, I should consider getting an art degree. His rationale was that it would provide me with structure and discipline and a path to follow. It would also give me the opportunity to explore other mediums. The idea resonated and I realized that if I didn’t just do it, I would go to my grave feeling really disappointed in myself.

What inspires me most about painting is that for the first time in my life, I don’t worry (too much!) about making mistakes and I don’t get frustrated (too much!) because something doesn’t turn out as I imagined it should. Instead, I find myself noticing problems and trying to figure out solutions, and over and over I will ask myself, “I wonder what would happen if I try this?”

It’s the same question I asked when I realized that pursuing a BFA at USM was within my grasp. “I wonder what would happen if I try this?”

And so I am.

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